Must I?

I am beginning to think I have lived in Germany too long. It isn't because I have mastered the German language, because I have started wearing a dirndl, or because I drink beer for breakfast. None of these things are true. I think I have lived in Germany too long because of a simple one syllable English word: "must."

As a general rule, we don't use the word "must" too often in English. Think about it. How often do you say that you must do or say something or that you must go somewhere? Normally, (American) English speakers say "have to" when one has no choice but to do or say something or go somewhere. (example: "I have to go to the grocery store before we run out of milk.") In these situations, one can use "must," but we don't do it.

"Must" is a word that has authoritative connotations in English and while you may tell yourself you must go to the store and get milk before you run out, if your neighbor tells you that you must mow your lawn, you are most likely offended because you get the feeling that your neighbor is trying to tell you what to do.

Before moving to Germany, I only used the word must when I was emphasizing something extremely important or urgent. However, after living in Germany for a while, I have noticed the word "must" has crept into my daily English vocabulary. The reason for this is a simple two syllable German word: "müssen."

Literally translated, "müssen" means "must." However, it is one of those words that has layers of meaning. It can also mean "have to," "should," or "may." It all depends on the translation. The translation of "müssen" into "must" by German speakers can be problematic. For example, Target GmBH, an English language training service based in Munich, has an entire webpage devoted to the problem of "must."

One of my early communication problems with my mother-in-law came from the fact that with her rudimentary English knowledge, she was unaware of how using the word "must" would rub me the wrong way. It wasn't until I learned a little bit of German that I understood she wasn't necessarily using "must" to be bossy, it was just a literal translation. (Actually, she is bossy and a *tad* overbearing by nature, but I think her using "must" in English is not so much a reflection of that as a translation problem.;) )

Regular use of "must" in English started out as a joke between A. and I. At first we used it when joking about the things his mother would tell us. Then we started using it when we had to things that we didn't want to do for one reason or another (examples: We must go to the gym tonight. I must change the cat litter tomorrow.) But now, I notice that I use in my everyday English usage. I guess only time will tell if it has reached the point where I must be careful when speaking to other English speakers so that they don't misinterpret me!