Maternal Instinct and the Biological Clock

In all honesty, I have never had much a desire to become a mother. The mere idea of being pregnant makes my insides flip-flop. I think babies are cute when they smile and laugh, but when they cry or dirty their diapers... not so cute! Other people's kids are fine. I have a niece whom I adore and I feel extremely protective of my best friend's kids, even though I am wary of children that I don't know. A good friend of mine will have a baby in November and I'm really excited for her. But the idea of having my own and the life-long responsibility that goes along with it makes me shudder.

When I was a little girl, I hated playing "house," and I remember telling my friend Carla when I was six or seven that I didn't want to have babies. Even at 6, Carla wanted to be a mommy and in her infinite little girl wisdom assured me that when I got older I would want a baby.

At 15, my cousin, who is 2 years younger than me, couldn't wait to have a baby and become a mom. In fact, within two years she was one. Now 10 years later she has a happy family that includes three little girls. However, when she was 15 I remember telling her she was crazy because there was so much to see and do; so much life to live before becoming a mother.

When I was 19 and had my first serious relationship I doomed it by telling him that I was unsure if I would ever want to get married or have kids. Two and a half years later, I found out he was married and expecting his first child.

I then endured a five year relationship that ended in heartache and misery and when it was over, I thanked my lucky stars that we had no kids. The custody battle over the cats was bad enough.

By that time I was 25. Lots of my friends were married and either already had begun a family or were getting ready to do so. I questioned whether or not I even had maternal instinct when people told me that I would change my mind once I heard my biological clock or after I met "the one." I wasn't convinced, but thought anything is possible.

Well, now I'm 30 and I met "Mr. Right" three years ago. We enjoy spending time together and being able to do what we please when we want to do it and not have to worry about whether or not it is "kid-friendly" or if we have a babysitter. Maybe someday we will change our minds, but for now we are content with being child-free.